I had the privilege of delivering a tribute eulogy for Dianne at her funeral yesterday. It was important to me to both honor her and to provide a hopeful message. I’d like to believe I succeeded on both counts. I was fortunate to have input from Dianne’s children, Joyce, and Chris (Norm).
Dianne Ruhland
I am grateful for having the skills, compassion, and ability to write and present a fitting tribute eulogy for my sister Dianne and am honored others had the confidence in me to ask me to do it.
I am grateful for family storytelling and their fond reflections of lost loved ones.
After this evening’s wake for my sister Dianne, I sat down with my sister Joyce for some thoughts about Dianne for the tribute I was writing. Joyce and Dianne were best friends. It was amazing to hear stories of their childhood I’d never heard before and to hear familiar stories retold in a different light.
I am grateful for the physical and artistic prowess of the performers in Cirque du Soleil – Dralion. To have that many incredibly talented performers and having them be so amazingly coordinated was astonishing.
It was an excellent production (including the lighting, staging, musicians) with plenty of comedic relief for a fast-paced, amazingly entertaining show. I was asking myself about every 90 seconds, “how do they do that?!”
I am grateful for hot Tom Kha soup on chilly, rainy day.
I had mine at Ha Long Bay, but making it at home works too.
I am grateful for the consideration shown by my 8-year old great-nephew Alex.
When I stopped over at their house this evening, the first thing he said to me was “how did it go yesterday?” referring to the trip “back home” his father and I took on Sunday to be with other family members following the unexpected death of my sister Dianne. It was a genuine display of concern that many adults have challenges presenting. I sat down with him and his brothers and explained how though it was difficult and emotional at times because we were so sad, the time spent together and sharing memories made it a very positive experience overall. I was moved by his inquiry and by how attentive he (as well as Ian & Erik) was to my response. Alex was the same little boy that just a few years earlier had gone out of his way to make me a lovely card and verbally expressed his condolences after the loss of my dog Tobie.
While he can at times be instigative among his brothers, the boy clearly has a gift for being in touch with peoples’ feelings and shows genuine empathy. Perhaps this helps make him a more effective instigator. Even if it does, I’ll take the good with the bad, because I believe the long term benefits certainly outweigh the short term inconvenience.
I am grateful for my family.
My eldest sister Dianne passed away unexpectedly early Saturday morning. As many of you know I come from an extremely large family, I am the 13th of 13 children. My parents have both passed and a brother, Carl, died many years before I was born. Dianne was the eldest female and third overall in the Ginny & Irv lineage. This is really the first sibling our full family has lost and it seems quite surreal to me.
Dianne was old enough to literally be my mother. Her eldest, Amy, is 3 weeks younger than me. I spent a tremendous amount of time with their family in my younger days. The relationship Dianne and I had over the years was occasionally strained but overall was quite healthy, especially in the last several years. She kept close tabs on me through Facebook, though she rarely posted. We frequently “chatted” through FB when we were both online. I was always impressed with how she mostly embraced technology, more-so than many in our family even though she was 23 years my senior.
This Easter Sunday, on what would have been her and Paul’s 47th wedding anniversary, her 5 children, several others of our family, and a bunch of her grandchildren, sat around a huge dinning room table going through several photo albums. It was everything you’d hope a family could provide in difficult times working through shock, grief, and unpleasant details & preparations. We shared lot’s memories and stories, laughter and tears, hugs and support. I am blessed with both the living and no longer living.
After having gone through about six months of couple’s counseling and having been clear she didn’t love me anymore, my life partner of nearly 18 years announced she “didn’t ever see her feelings changing”. My response was as succinct and effective as the period at the end of a sentence: “Then we’re done”.
That conversation took place a year ago today and while the admission from her was devastating for me, it was also somewhat of a relief. I had struggled for several weeks trying to gauge progress in the relationship, any progress. Indications had been sparse and I was weary of the work and short on hope. Her admission was the indicator I needed. She acknowledged I had exceeded all of her expectations for “improvement”; I’d done all I could to salvage things. It was an appropriate time to cut my losses and try to move on.
Today is the one-year anniversary of the end of a mostly great relationship. I’ve made significant progress in moving on, in becoming a better person, and evolving into more of the “me” I want to be. It has been extremely difficult at times and progress has been far from linear. I am extremely grateful for incredibly supportive friends and family and for an effective therapist.
Kind of gives resurrection a very personal meaning for me. Happy Easter.
I am grateful for laughter and close friends in times of sorrow.
